I also want to say that things are coming into focus for me that I had never realized before. It is an amazingly scary journey.
It has been a few weeks since I posted. I have been busy. "Busy" can be used to describe so many different types of situations and happenings. So, I will simply say "busy."
So, I am wondering along the path of not so submissiveness, trying to figure myself and my BDH out. While wondering, I tripped over a log that was a moment of realization. I was actually having submissive tendencies at a very young age. I can remember as young as eight years old that I was showing signs of it. It just took me about twenty years to understand what it was. My reaction to this metaphorical log was fear. How can I be submissive?? I am a strong independent woman! No!!! This isn't me!!! This is not something that I naturally learn towards! I went through several days of confused denial.
And yet another log in my path...
I have an ankle bracelet with bells on it. I have had it for years. I bought it in my very early teens because I thought it was beautiful and sexy. I ran across it in my jewelry box a few days ago. I just stood there and stared at it, because now I know what it means to wear it. Before, I just felt a strong pull towards it. I took it to BDH, who was not even surprised I had it Apparently, BDH understood things about me a long time before I did.
