So apparently, I am a really lousy blogger....

Ahm. Hello. Why yes, I am aware it has been over a year since I posted something. Yes, I am dreadfully sorry about this. Funny, how did you know that my lack of active blogging correlates to my lack of progress in submission? Really, you thought it would be easier for me by now?

You get the idea. I am sitting here typing, and I should be in bed. Things are dramatically different than they were 12 months ago. For one thing, I found myself unexpectedly unemployed. I am now a stay at home wife. My goals in life have changed dramatically.

BDH (Beloved Dom Husband) is still as loving as ever, if not more so. Things have just, well changed.

There has not been a true discipline spanking in probably six months or more. Not that I haven't deserved one, but more that BDH has found other ways of making me uncomfortable. His solution was simple, he ignores me. I can't stand that. I am sure, if occasion should truly warrant it, he will push me on my stomach and redden my behind.

I am still defiant. Sometimes he tells me to do something, and I honestly know my facial expression just says "Go f*** yourself." Yet, I don't like it when he is unhappy with me, and I feel genuine regret. I just can't seem to get the rebellious strong willed part of me out. I think it might be something that hangs with me through my entire life. I am beginning to think that perhaps this is really nothing more than a lack of willpower, and maybe some emotional issues that have been running stealth for a couple of years.

This will, hopefully be the beginning of weekly blogging for me. I am now going to go join BDH in bed. I can hear him snoring 2 rooms away. :-)

In the beginning....

In the beginning there was me with my plan. My plan was complete, and I tolerated no deviations from it. I was "on my way" up the corporate ladder, achieving my dreams one at a time, and did not need anyone to tell me how to live my life. My plan had a list with things to check off. One of the things that the plan listed was getting married. I envisioned a life of partnership with someone, where we would both support each other in achieving our goals, and function independently while working together to better our lives.

Then, I got married, and I hit a roadblock. Working together involves compromise, and my plan did not allow for compromise. So I became a domineering wife, who laid out the plan, and my poor husband found himself dragged along with it. Things did not go so well.

My Beloved Dom Hubby (BDH) is an exceptionally smart person. He tried for three years to put up with my bullshit and denied the part of himself that was meant to be the dominant head of our house. I guess he had enough, and through a course of events, I found myself entering into a D/s relationship. This is should be great for us as a couple, except for one thing, I am the lower case "s" in the relationship.

I had no idea how a D/s relationship worked, but I knew my marriage needed something desperately, so I made a promise to him I had avoided even in our wedding vows. After some researching and coaching from BDH, I promised to obey him, and asked him to accept my obedience. He did quite happily.

If being a good submissive wife means you can write out the definition of what one is, then I can't even spell submissive. I'm trying, and I succeed sometimes and fail others. BDH has done this before, and he knows what he is doing. He also loves me enough to put up with me when I try to wrap my mind around what obedience means exactly. He also reminds me what happens when I am not. Suffice to say, I find my fiercely independent behind now lovingly and fiercely spanked, as I am taught how to be a submissive wife. It is indeed an adventure with many misadventures for my Beloved Dom Hubby and myself.

tkc