You get the idea. I am sitting here typing, and I should be in bed. Things are dramatically different than they were 12 months ago. For one thing, I found myself unexpectedly unemployed. I am now a stay at home wife. My goals in life have changed dramatically.
BDH (Beloved Dom Husband) is still as loving as ever, if not more so. Things have just, well changed.
There has not been a true discipline spanking in probably six months or more. Not that I haven't deserved one, but more that BDH has found other ways of making me uncomfortable. His solution was simple, he ignores me. I can't stand that. I am sure, if occasion should truly warrant it, he will push me on my stomach and redden my behind.
I am still defiant. Sometimes he tells me to do something, and I honestly know my facial expression just says "Go f*** yourself." Yet, I don't like it when he is unhappy with me, and I feel genuine regret. I just can't seem to get the rebellious strong willed part of me out. I think it might be something that hangs with me through my entire life. I am beginning to think that perhaps this is really nothing more than a lack of willpower, and maybe some emotional issues that have been running stealth for a couple of years.
This will, hopefully be the beginning of weekly blogging for me. I am now going to go join BDH in bed. I can hear him snoring 2 rooms away. :-)
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